


Je l'aime à mourir (I Love Her to Death)

by pichiruchi



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pichiruchi/pseuds/pichiruchi
Summary: You notice there are more like you, some in front, some behind, but just like you, right in the middle. Written in December of 2011.





	

**Author's Note:**

> x-posted at lj. Original note: Happy 8th Anniversary. I woke up today with this and this song ' Je l'aime à mourir' in my mind (originally a french song, I first heard it in Spanish, though. This is Shakira's cover with spanish+french [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIy26Dc7spc) <3). First fanfiction ever published so... bear with me.

**Je l'aime à mourir**  
11/12/26

(I Love Her to Death)

 

 

You're standing in some kind of forest, you look in front of you, there ahead, there are the five backsides you love the most. You notice that three of them start walking together, hugging each other. You notice how their path is being made as they walk, how it is made of raspy dirt and hard stones, only then, you notice. They are walking with their feet bared.

 

The pair's road is all cemented, with nice flooring even. But it's pitch dark. You notice they awkwardly start walking, the older a step ahead, the younger one following suit. Only when you can't see any of them anymore is that you do what best you can think of: build your own path right in the middle. Because that's the best view you can get.

And it's all rusty and dirty, but at least you're wearing shoes, and you have your red light to guide you on.

 

_To guide them._

 

You notice there are more like you, some in front, some behind, but just like you, _right in the middle._

You found some truths, some lies, some rumors, some things better left unsaid. Some things you did not want to know.

You red light flickers and you begin to get alarmed. There is no way you're letting it turn off. You'll believe in what goes out of theirs mouths, out of the windows of their souls, in their lyrics only.

 

You don't seem to be able to piece together the whole puzzle. You're still waiting for the whole true.

 

You hold onto any glance you can grasp of any of them _dramas, singles, musicals._ You pretend that everything is fine. Because they are making you believe so.

  
You notice how empty it looks with only three. You cried, they also did. And that's what hurts you the most. You get excited. They are wonderful, every little thing they touch becomes something beautiful. The three's path is becoming challenging. You are happy.  
You notice individuals talents and that amazes you. They are filled with pretty surprises. You can't help but shout it to the world and be proud all around. Only a few listen and that's okay but is not enough. They deserve more. They can do what they love the most. You pretend not to know that they cannot do it where they want the most. That there are doors closing right in front of their faces. You wave you little hope. They smiled. They thanked you. They Sung. And that's enough, right?

 

_You believe it is._

_Is not (though)._

 

You notice how you almost forgot about the pair and you panic. You look at their side, it has some light. Not enough though. Then it all happened too fast. You did not even blink when they came out to where they belong, with all the fire, like a blinding sun. You did what you could though: shouted for them, cheered for them, flashed your red light with all you got, you were saying I missed you.

 

_They couldn't believe you were waiting.  
You were confused._

 

You cried. It was emptier now. You stood there _I'm here for you._  
Too little too late you realized some things. In the eyes of others, apparently, they weren't worth it. Slowly they showed them. That they have always belonged here. That it's their place, it has always been.  
You're more proud than ever. Your light it's shinning so beautiful, so strong. They smile, and are thankful.

You keep pretending that you not notice how the smiles doesn't reach the eyes anymore.

 

You've been doing it for a while now.

 

The war begun. You notice how some of those like you are leaving, to the left, others to the right. All you can think is _why are you leaving?_ They believe they know the truth that hasn't been told.  
Most of them are calling the others traitors, also greedy. Others tell you to wake up, that that beautiful dream you once lived in, is all that that is: too good to be true.

You stop listening, you don't know what to believe anymore, you remember when even the tears shone, all the promises, the love, the ocean, the struggles, the dreams made true, the new ones to come, the hugs, the silly jokes, the music, the songs, the cold yet warm, the innocence, the soft voice, the shyness, the hard work, the humbleness, the trust, the voices and you suddenly know. It is not over.

and you hold tightly onto your _light._

 

You can't pretend it doesn't hurt you. It's the saddest thing. You used to be the most beautiful constellation. You didn't notice how the distance between the stars are becoming wider.

After all you're not alone.

 

 

 _You notice there are more like you,_  
  
some in front, some behind,  
  
but just like you

_right here, in the middle._

 

You keep your head up, with pride and love, you begin to smile more. You do miss them, a lot. But both have accomplished so much. And you start thinking that it wasn't that bad after all.

 

You keep on fighting. For the unfairness, for your pride, for the ones you love the most in the world.

You notice how your admiration, respect and love has doubled. If that's even possible.

It is your only way to say thank you.

 

_Thank You_

_Thank You_

_Thank You_

_Thank You_

_Thank You_

 

For the warmest of feelings, the strongest of bonds, the smiles, the rays of hopes,the tears, the songs, the melodies, the music, the faith, the love.

 

You are forever thankful.

You always will.

.  
.  
.

 

You see some new lights, at the other side of the roads. You smile and talk to them. They tell you that they just found them. You say it's fine, and you even show them the others you love. Some of them do not like them. You try not to be disappointed. You're okay with it. Some tell you 'they are good too' you secretly smile and whisper -

 

_-They used to be together._

 

 

_(and one day.... one day. I'm waiting for that day_

_I'll wait with you)_

 

 

 

 

_You can destroy_

_Anything you see_

_Because from her (their) breath (s)_

_Rebuilds it again_

_As if nothing_

_As if nothing_

_I love her (them) to death_

 


End file.
